I know that this question is more about opinion rather than hard facts. But I recently moved from being a .net developer to a java one, so I have only recently joined the Optional party. Also, I'd prefer to state this as a comment, but since my point level does not allow me to comment, I am forced to put this as an answer instead.
What I have been doing, which has served me well as a rule of thumb. Is to use Optionals for return types, and only use Optionals as parameters, if I require both the value of the Optional, and weather or not the Optional had a value within the method.
If I only care about the value, I check isPresent before calling the method, if I have some kind of logging or different logic within the method that depends on if the value exists, then I will happily pass in the Optional.